What Else?
A weird title for
a blog you would think but these two words that make a seemingly harmless
question, have put me into loads of trouble! These are the first words my Dad
utters over the phone after the initial greeting! He also asks this very same
question a couple of times more during the conversation till I put my big foot
into my bigger mouth and then…all hell breaks loose!
My father has
never been a fan of speaking over the phone for gossip. It was drummed into us
(my brother and I) as kids, that a telephone was to be used sparingly, only to
convey essential information and needless gossip was to be avoided (it was
indirectly meant for my mother as well!) The phone was for work and emergencies
and was not to be kept engaged. It was understandable considering the fact that
he was in the Armed Forces.
Years went by, we
grew up, he retired and mobile phones made their way into the market and then
into our lives! My mother would speak to everyone for long hours and she still
does though both then and now she denies speaking for more than ten minutes!!
When we would converse over the phone for over twenty minutes, and every day,
mind you, my father’s booming voice could always be heard in the background “the
phone is not meant to ask what she made for dinner”. Once a week, he would make
it to the phone, and all that would come out after the “Hello, how are you” was
“what else?”
Now, our father
was strict and unlike our mother, who would listen to our woes and sympathize
with us and be equally annoyed at anyone who would have rubbed us the wrong
way, Daddy was against any form of sympathy and never encouraged cribbing. Even
when Ma would speak about somebody who had been unpleasant, all you’d hear from
Dad was “don’t character assassinate”. Needless to say, we never told him
anything except absolutely essential stuff. He had no time for nonsense. So,
when my brother would hear “what else” over the phone, he would say “nothing Daddy,
all is well” (quick learner, that brother of mine) but I would rattle out
everything that happened which would end up as my fault and I’d get chided or
at least corrected for it all. And with the elephantine memory my father has,
the contents of the conversation would be repeated over and over again in
different contexts.
I am 46 going on
47 and guess what? I remain just as dumb. I do try what my brother does but my
Dad asks a few more “what else?” questions, just when I get comfortable that
the questioning has been over and done with, and out come answers that put me
on the back foot again!
I’ve been doing a
lot of thinking though as to why people, be it parents, spouses, friends or
relatives and even acquaintances ask so many questions. Why is there so much
curiosity to know what the other person is doing? If I had something to say, I’d
say it, wouldn’t I? I get irritated with questions of any kind, over the phone
or via texting. Actually, I do not enjoy telephonic conversations except once
in a rare while and to a select few people, my parents being the only
exceptions to the rule (though they do have to put up with my fidgetiness). I
haven’t learnt the art of hanging up and I squirm in my chair trying to
entertain myself with something apart from the conversation. Usually, I play
games, look into the crossword, scribble and sometimes I laugh with forced mirth
and wonder why it doesn’t sound fake to the person at the other end. People, these
days, do not get subtle hints!
Have you noticed
that unnecessary conversations lead to negativity? Human beings are wired that
way. When you talk to people often, you tend to turn conversations into crib
sessions. It is low vibration energy. Gossip or as my father says, character assassination
be it about someone we know personally, or a celebrity, a politician, the
Government, the municipality or even President Trump is inevitable when people
speak often. Isn’t it better then, that we start embracing silence and quiet a
little more and talk only if we have something positive to say? If nothing
else, just wanting to speak will get us to think positively and relay happy
thoughts.
I believe there is
enough stress and negativity in the world as it is, why compound it by reliving
it through conversations? It’s just a thought.
Credits: educateinsprechange.org
With social media as such adding to the interaction through 'chatting', it becomes even more important that we reduce the 'talking'...after all it's eating up into the own time or time for other useful things..
ReplyDeleteTrue that!!
DeleteExactly my thoughts when it comes to telephone calls and even texting. For me, "what else" Is generally a hint to end the conversation with a polite reply " All is well. Take care. " 😊
ReplyDelete:D I envy men who hang up so easily after a crisp call. I am yet to see a woman do that!
Delete