musingswhileunlearning

  Credits: twitter.com “Prove them wrong”, “Show them what you can do, prove to them that you are not weak”, “Prove your mettle and your detractors will go silent”, “Let your work speak for you”…these seemingly encouraging words, aimed at egging you on, aimed at not letting you give up are the very words that take the joy out of your life. You must think I’ve lost my marbles! And, I don’t blame you, for this is what we have been told all our life. These very words right from the word go, instill in us, the need for external validation. These are the very same words that teach us that competition is essential. And so, I believe, these are the very words passed on from generation to generation, that teach us insecurity, mistrust and poor self-worth/ self-esteem. My husband walked in a few minutes ago and read the title and the first line of my blog and gave me the look of a man finding out that he was with a demented woman. He does think I have a skewed brain. No, he doesn’t say so...

Is it? Is it okay to be vulnerable? Is being vulnerable a sign of weakness or strength? If it is a sign of strength then is there guarantee that once we show our vulnerable side no one will take advantage of it? What if someone hurts us again and in a way that will mar us for life? What if we are not accepted or are made fun of? What if we end up alone and ostracized? However trivial the issue might be for the objective viewer, for the person going through this dilemma, it is always a big deal. Small matters can even lead to suicide depending on many factors but mainly based on how long the hurt has been collecting or piling and festering within. Every single individual at one time or the other has gone through this dilemma and not just once! Up until now, societies have never encouraged showing our emotional or “weak” side. It is only over the past decade or so that men have started showing a softer side for the traditional male took it all in. A favorite macho dialogue in Hindi fil...