When You Long For it All...
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Presently,
he drew my attention to a notice pinned right at the top in bold, capital
letters and said, “Your friend.” My interest piqued, I read the short notice
and was shocked at its contents.
“Vimla”
is what we shall call her to maintain her privacy even though I am completely
sure that she would never read this article. Ethics are ethics whether anyone
sees it or not!
Nearly
two years ago, I shifted into these apartments with my children and was still
in the process of settling down hurriedly, since my husband had a few days to
spare before returning to his place of duty, when the doorbell rang. I opened
it to see a bright young lady with the broadest smile-Vimla. She was slim
bordering on thin, clad neatly in a red and yellow saree, blouse matched to
perfection, long hair braided which she played with, from time to time. She had
a small red bindi (Indian Hindu women wear it on their foreheads more often
than not as a sign of matrimony) between her brows and her small eyes were filled
with kohl, adding to her beauty. She was twenty two or so. She had a twinkle in
her eyes and her broad smile showed neatly arranged teeth that lent to her
charm. “Welcome Amma. Aap new hain? Abhi aaya? Main kaam karegi.” (Welcome
Amma. Are you new here? Just came? I’ll work for you.) This she said in broken
Hindi. I liked her instantly. I was desperate for help as it is and she fit the
bill-pleasant disposition and hygienic. She agreed readily to my time schedule
and the wages and said she’d start three days later as per my requirement.
She
lasted two months of which she actually just worked a month. She had no sense
of time and she took leave without intimation very often. In fact, if she lasted
that long, it was because I grew immensely fond of her and tried convincing
myself she’d improve eventually. When she worked she was good- efficient and
clean. She was quite a chatterbox so I took extra effort to make a serious face
for I really don’t take any pleasure in knowing what happens in someone else’s
house. It was difficult to resist talking at all for she would find something
to awaken my interest and lead me from that to something else!
Vimla
lied when she could. The only two things I ask from anyone I am hiring are
honesty and punctuality. I usually am livid when lied to but this young lady
had me in splits. After repeated admonishments, she failed to show up again so
I called her. She picked up the phone coughing, “Amma fever (cough, cough)
daakter ke paas jaate” (Amma fever, going to the doctor). I don’t know what
came upon me but I said impromptu, “I saw you coming in earlier” to which came
a reply that shocked me, “Ok Amma, 5 minutes mein aate” (Ok Amma, will be there
in 5 minutes). She did reach five minutes later with no trace of a cold or
cough leave alone fever! I looked at her for an explanation and saw that she
was trying to make something up but my laughter threw her off guard!
Sometimes
when I wouldn’t mind if she lied for I really needed a solid excuse for her not
turning up yet again she’d be brutally honest, “Baahubali dekhne gaya
Amma…super!! Dekhna Amma…verrry good” (Had gone to see Baahubali-a film- super!
You must see it…verrry good). I’ve caught her talking to pigeons on the
balcony, watching people quarreling on the road, imitating cats and dogs and
generally very happy with life. The only time she came sad (heartbroken) was if
her husband scolded her. The whole morning would pass without a word.
This
childlike woman was a mother of two children aged five and two but she hadn’t
really grown. She was just a girl who wanted to live a full life. The other
maids in the colony despised her. The maids working for me now, looked down
upon her for talking to men who came to work and for laughing loudly while
talking over the phone (she loved her phone) for they believed in the
prescribed code of conduct for a married woman.
The
notice that I read stated that Vimla had been caught for theft and that she had
been blacklisted. I was upset. I found out the following day that she had
stolen a smart phone nearly a week ago and had continued working for the family
she stole from. They had thought their little toddler had misplaced it and
expected it to show up from some nook or corner. Meanwhile, our Ms. Vimla
couldn’t resist having a smart phone and not use it. She did and got caught red
handed. The maids were so happy and went on to tell me that an example had been
made out of her on the street where they lived and that everyone knew that she
was a thief. I did not comment but I was sad for her.
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Theft
is to be condemned at all costs I agree. The offender must be punished without
doubt and I am pretty ruthless when I call out a mistake; I do not like silly
excuses either. Then why was I so upset? I believe that once the person has
admitted to it and been admonished, they should be let off. Blacklisting was
okay but why the humiliation? Why not give another chance? The concept in the West to do some hours of service as punishment is a positive step/remedial measure for those who have committed a wrong but not one that makes them a criminal.
Vimla
was one happy go lucky woman. The word woman seems too big for her really. She
was still a kid. She had a zest for life and wanted it all. She wanted to wear
good clothes, watch movies and have fun. Her birth had imposed limitations on
her but her mind had not. I remember the time when she bunked work one morning
with no intimation, as usual. That evening, as I stood on the balcony, I saw
someone waving out at me with a big smile. My jaw dropped open at the audacity.
I gestured to her to get closer. She came and asked me how I was!! I asked why
she didn’t turn up earlier. She didn’t have anything to say so she said she’d
come up right away and she did! That was how she was. She didn’t have to catch
my attention but she didn’t think that far. She wanted to have a happy equation
with everybody while having a great time herself.
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Women
of spirit and of ambition have always had a tough road to tread on. They are
not satisfied with their lot and have no way to break free from their situation
unless they “sin”. As depicted in Gustave Flaubert’s “Madame Bovary” or in
Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina” and there are so many examples from mythology and
real life as well, it is clear that one must toe the line, society has marked
for you or else you live a doomed life and die a miserable death. This is true
for both men and women, more so for the latter.
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Isn’t
it true that tongues wag the minute someone different comes along? A smiling
face amongst a room full of serious intellectuals is met with a look of disdain
as is a woman with coloured hair and piercings, tattoos and tattered jeans by
modestly dressed women! Eyebrows raised at “loud” women who drink and smoke vis-a-vis quiet and “well bred” ladies! Why is it that instead of being inspired by a confident, articulate person, we try find some defect in her/him? The society does not relax unless it brings
every one down to the same level. Uniqueness is not appreciated unless it gains
fame, unnoticed. Even then, people are waiting to see a sign of weakness to
bring someone down. Why are we such insecure beings? Why does someone’s
satisfaction unsettle us so? Why can’t we live and let live? I am not in any
way glorifying theft or adultery; all I am saying is that we ought to be a bit
more humane in dealing with one another, for each of us is struggling to grow
to our full potential, no matter where and to which class we are born.
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I love your kind and compassionate spirit, Anu. I don't think I can match up to it (I can be quite stern in my demand for ethics) but I would like to think I wouldn't break anyone's spirit either.
ReplyDeleteOn a simpler level, I can relate the disciplining of pups to this story. There are feisty critters who will push their luck and test limits. It is all too tempting to come down hard on them. But if treated with compassion and patience, you get much more than an obedient and meek dog. You get an intelligent and spirited friend who will kill or die for you because of the understanding with which you dealt with her...
I think you should adopt a pup.
You are just as kind and compassionate and I am stern in my demands for ethics too but you have to have the right balance, that's all. And don't talk about dogs and pups- they are something else!!! I just might...<3 <3
DeleteWell written. Your blog rings a bell. The topic in itself walks a very thin line. I too believe in corrective punishments but sometimes I too become a part of the judgemental gang. As they all say, to live is to learn, so maybe someday I learn to live and let live.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dearie...we are all judgemental either in a positive way or a negative way...that's what happens with an analytical brain...we just don't see things as they are...we have to form opinions!! And yet, as long as we try and keep trying, that's what matters!
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