Love: Why Be Unfair to it?


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Love: The most beautiful of all emotions and perhaps the only emotion that is so badly treated! Osho, how I love his thought, said that we compartmentalize love and in doing so we ruin it. How very true!




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Love is a limitless emotion. It cannot and should not be bound. It knows no territory, caste, socio-economic status, gender, age, handicap or anything else. It is unconditional and it is for all. The only emotion that actually has the power to tide over every problem and bring the world together, Love, has been so wrongly misused and we as a society need to change that.


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Let’s get back to basics. A meets/knows B. A and B spend time together and talk about a lot many things; laugh together. A and B like each other. They spend more time together and understand each other a lot more. The more they interact, the more A and B want each other’s company. A and B love each other. It is possible that most of us saw A and B as a romantic alliance, while others saw it is as friendship and so on. Why? Basic tuning. We do not see love as love. We give it a relationship status to understand it.



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It has to be compartmentalized in our heads for us to appreciate it. “Friendly  affection”, "Brotherly/sisterly/motherly/fatherly kind of love”, “Boyfriend/girlfriend” love, Teachers’ love...it goes on and on. We don’t do that with any other emotion. “It was ‘friendly hate’/ ‘husband anger’ that made him do that” are never heard. No compartmentalization there! Then why do we have different rules for this precious and worthy emotion? And it is because we make this distinction that a sense of propriety comes into our love. If you are married, you should have brotherly/sisterly love for the rest of the world except your spouse, loving someone of another gender after marriage though he/she was your best friend before is inappropriate- blasphemy, in fact. Why do we do this? A lot many beautiful relationships are lost because of these binding rules for love.


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First and foremost, love and lust are two different emotions and cannot, must not and should not be spoken in the same vein. We tend to mix the lust aspect in any male-female relationship especially (Applicable to homosexual relationships too albeit in a different manner). “Just Friends” always brings with it raised eyebrows.

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Secondly, love is not about getting or possessing, it is about giving. For example, take a romantic relationship that does not last; the people involved drift apart for whatever reason and move on in their lives. They can still love each other. (I personally believe that you never fall out of love, if you do, it was never love) They can still wish well for one another and be friends.




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Thirdly and most importantly, love is without expectations. If there is an expectation (and we all learn this rather late) which we, for a large part of our lives take as a given, it isn’t love- at least, it is not love for the person we claim to have love for, but ourselves. Loving someone is about you. What you feel when you shower love is what bliss is all about but if you wait for a return you kill it. I had read and perhaps shared on “Facebook” an article/video, I forget which, that says if you love fish and enjoy it for dinner, you don’t really love fish, but you love yourself and the taste of the fish had that satisfied your palate. If you genuinely loved the fish, you would take care of it and not eat it.


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All the lovely tales of love, whichever form you see or read it in, is beautiful. Why? That is because the relationship does not matter, the feeling does. Let us break down the barriers around love and just love freely. Let us not be judgemental when two people share love. No one seems to question negativity! Why defame love? Love brings positivity and nothing less. If love brings any negative emotion, watch out friend… for it isn’t love! Love is all about acceptance of flaws as well as strengths, it is above everything…love is liberation, love is bliss, love is hope, love is what makes us smile and love has NO BOUNDARIES!


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Comments

  1. I can't agree with you more! 🤗

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  2. I completely agree with you here.

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  3. Girl you have perfect timing. I share the same opinion. Love the way you express it.... It's like your the voice of my heart ... Hugs to you dear

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  4. Totally agree with you....nothing more healing and deeper.

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  5. ...And love has no definition..it is pure and peaceful

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  6. Nicely written......we need to learn to love unconditionally as Osho said irrespective of ones actions....
    Nice quotes of Osho are making the read even more interesting and appropriate...

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  7. I have often thought about love and it's elusiveness too, Anu. You couldn't have said it better..
    I think I love my dogs more than anyone else, sometimes, because I don't think twice about the nuances of that love and have no expectations or margins in the love I have for them. All I want from them In return is love. In fact, the cats don't even assure me of love. Yet i love them still. But when it comes to people there are suddenly so many categories and judgements. A coursemate i used to share dirty jokes with and do notes for is now suddenly all 'propah' with me. I have to think twice when a man is friendly, convinced that there is an undercurrent of lust in his interest.
    I think human relationships are too complex and fluid for us to try and cram each one into a tiny box. Marriage itself is a constantly evolving institution in which friendship, motherly feelings, big brotherhood and so many others constantly jostle for predominance. We are tied together by law and swim together making the best of the emotions at hand.
    Much as we may try, it is not possible to apply the same broad interpretation to any other human relation. Because we are not just the two people alone in the reckoning. The entire world is looking over the shoulder of every other person and judging the 'love' they share with everyone else.
    Let us love each other without boundaries and leave the walls and boundaries to those who are still bound by petty restrictions. They probably need more time to come to the point where they can love freely.

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    Replies
    1. I knew you would have more than a few things to say...and you put it across so well...Humans, for all our evolved brains, are the only species to over complicate everything...I love the way you sum it up and I totally believe that everyone does come to the same point eventually when they are ready...till they make it, let the ones who understand it love freely to heart's content :)

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