Why Lie? Why Even White Lie?

 

A step towards being your most authentic self.

Credits: Pinterest

                          

Why do we lie? Have you ever given it a thought? Most people will see the question and without a split second of deliberation come up with a “to save our skin” or “fear” or “to avoid hurting someone”. Now, give it some more thought. We tell lies or even white lies in order to be pleasant or to please- a step towards being accepted. In our minds, we should not get caught on the wrong foot lest we be made an example of or we become unpopular or worse, be ostracized to whatever degree. In fact, the society expects you to lie in order to be amicable. I will expand on this soon.

  

I don’t lie as a rule. I gave that up in Grade 2, after getting caught for hiding and later lying about a math test, I tanked in. And yet, white lies have been plenty…remember, the reasons I said you might give, well, reason number three is mine- so as to not hurt others. If a lie/ half lie/ hiding bit of info, harms no one, but boosts morale, self- esteem, amiable social interactions and saves occasional embarrassment, then why not?

 

At this juncture of my life, however, I want to be my most authentic self, embrace my light and shade and align with my North Node in Sagittarius. In doing so, I am going to be honest and blunt as no one can imagine. I am already a social recluse and now, I am all set to be an unpopular one.

 

Before I proceed further at my plan of action, let me expand on the fact that the society promotes white lies.

 

 I am an ambivert. People who have met me take home memories of me as an extrovert but that is just a small part of me (honed by my parents- “good girl”). I am an introvert and if I attend any gathering/ party whatever be the occasion (and make no mistake, I have fun and genuinely enjoy the interaction) I can live a comfortable six months without meeting anyone but the regulars in my life.

 

Now, while in service (IAF), there have been a number of parties. While I was serving, it was a duty so no complaining (we’ve got to do what we’ve got do) but when I left service and was now just a wife of a serving officer, I had the privileges of being a Lady!! I could refuse. I would use this privilege to the fullest. Make no mistake, all the official events I attended (duty is always paramount) but the extra stuff, oh no, not me! And this is where we come to the part I was talking about. My husband getting ready with a swollen face because he would have to answer for me even though is was not an official event, would keep giving me looks that would make me change my mind and I would wonder, why he was wasting his time trying. And then, with a stern and unpleasant expression he would ask, “what should I say if they ask me, why you aren’t coming?” “Loose motions”, was my ready reply. A reply he absolutely abhorred! Then he would go on to, “No really, that’s a lie. Why is it that you are not going? What should I tell them honestly?” “ I am tired of their faces” “I am done with socialising” or a simple “I don’t want to.” “Take your pick.”

 

What do you think my husband said? Could he have conveyed the truth? He would say headache or temperature or some such thing. People are not really ready to stomach the truth.

 

Back to the present! As a part of my healing, spiritual awakening and need to be my most authentic self, I am actually going to do away with the white lie. Actually, I have started sometime ago and this new version of me has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way.

 

It isn’t easy, mind you. With Aquarius and Libra heavily in my chart, diplomacy is a charming trait I have always had and being peacemaker has been a natural tendency and embodying the blatant centaur makes me uncomfortable. My own family is alarmed at my rudeness (I am not being rude, believe me just unapologetically, honest). My father has always been that way; he is a Scorpio!! You would expect that from him but my transformation needs tweaking!

 

I often wonder if this new person is the authentic me.

 

“Is this looking good on me?” “Yes, lovely!!” to “Nah! Ugly. What were you thinking when you bought it?” HORRIFYING! How could I teach myself to say that?

 

It will take a while before equanimity becomes second nature after which I won’t have likes or dislikes and then I will be neutral. Meanwhile, I have been working on this incessantly. I do slip back to my diplomatic self every now and then and at other times, I reach the other end of the spectrum. I am now aiming to reach the place of balance (like the Temperance

card in Tarot which represents the Sagittarius energy) where I am embodying the positive side of Sagittarius instead of the uncaring bluntness and so the same question will now be answered with a, “Well, if you think you look lovely then you are gorgeous! Own it!”

 

The only way to live your fullest and most authentic life is to accept yourself as you are, light and shadow aspects. When you do, you will naturally, let go of the need to lie or “white lie”. It could be a lonely journey, I am not going to lie, but definitely a liberating one.