What Does My Dream Life Look Like?


I have taken a week off from the tarot world and every other world to concentrate on myself, a long-neglected self. No YouTube tracking and no Insta. No games except for a few quizzes on Sporcle, from the desktop and not phone. I actually deleted the crossword game that I was having so much fun with. I had solved 106 plus crossword in two days. Yes, I am a game addict. Deleted.

Today is the sixth day and I haven’t had epiphanies of any kind. I have had a haircut though, an at-home spa day, been working on my plants, a bit more physical activity which, I am sure, can do with a lot of improvement and have been incorporating fruit into my diet- as fruit - not pies or dessert. And lots of water. The idea behind this whole exercise was to take a first step towards actually understanding myself from within.

And so, most importantly, I have dedicated some time to doing nothing. Letting my thoughts flow while doing nothing. Out of the blue, a question popped up in my head a couple of days ago. “What does your dream life look like?” BLANK! This over- thinking mind of mine could actually catapult me to Nirvana with the blankness that ensued. It has been two days and no answer but the mindless chatter began, to ensure that Mukti (Liberation) remained evasive.

How I miss having the unlimited imagination of a child! No wonder I have been facing a creative block. I am over-adulting! In fact, I started this blog with the intention of getting a head start towards answering this question, while getting you to think about this question as well and perhaps help me out with suggestions, if any. And if you have no idea either, time for a break, dear reader! Why are we living, really?

If just being, is a conscious choice, just doing what needs to be done and staying content with that, is a choice, then I bow to you because you are bang on track and the among the most sorted of all beings. If not, you are in the same boat and I hope by the time you and I reach the end of this blog, we figure something out.

We are the only species that has a brain that can imagine! What a shame if we haven’t any idea for a dream life. What are we? Sheep? No offence to sheep! They are living the life they are meant to. Respect. 

Credits: Wikipedia

All my years of growing up till I fell in love for the first time, my dream was so well-defined. The career bit would keep changing but my dream home, dream life off work, my being, was all decided. A lot of it influenced by Enid Blyton’s worlds. My need for staying in hostels initially, came from St. Clare’s and Malory Towers, my career choice of being a ring master or at times a trapeze artiste came from her Circus series and while I loved her faraway tree and wishing chair series, the Saturn influence on me, never allowed my dream life to have fairies and gnomes in them. Of course, all those amateur sleuth clubs, secret sevens and famous fives and more did influence my dream. Oh yes, and to this day, I have a dream to own and live, in a caravan.

Somehow, true to the true nature of the soul, I never had a mate in any of my dreams. I was single. I was independent and I had a single room with an attached bath which even in my dream was for my parents, if they came visiting, with one room in the basement (Secret Seven, I think)! This room was fully carpeted on some days and wooden floored on others. It had a magic fridge (maybe the wishing chair and faraway tree did actually leave their magic on me) which was filled with desserts and whatever else and a store by the side for all the other goodies. I think everything was sweet at that time!

The lack mindset had already come in by then because of all the comics I read, which made a person wanting a lot of money, an evil and greedy person. So, I bargained a television for a music system and tapes (unheard of now!!). To this day, I am not TV friendly. I did have a telephone and a car. No idea, place wise where this house was! Just by the vegetation it wasn’t a possible place. It had typical tundra and tropic mix! Again, I think I am a recluse by birth because there were never any people in my dream life.

This is cathartic you know! I am just realising that there were no people in this dream life of mine. I will have to really think about the why of that!! I was a child. Why weren’t my friends around?

I guess studies took away my time to dream or rather day dream for a long while after that. My dreams were less dreams and more nightmares, if you please!

Then, I fell in love and Bollywood took over and the sensual lessons of the Bold and the Beautiful! I had found my Mr. Darcy! This was a dizzy phase and rather short-lived but so impactful. I owe my spiritual journey to this individual! Dreams looked different each day. It was beautiful, undoubtedly but it wasn’t solid or stable like the childhood dream had been, just by the dynamic nature of the dream and possibly the relationship.

While still trying to get a firm foothold in my career, it was time for wedding bells or in my case, mridangam and nadaswaram! This time around love, permissions, engagement and wedding were beautiful albeit so fast that it gave no time for dreaming. So much happened so soon. It was very real. The here and the now.

Then came more reality which in no way is less beautiful but it isn’t a dream. There are real responsibilities and these keep growing. 26 years later, we are still at it. So, when this question cropped up, like a dutiful wife, I decided to bug my husband’s peace of mind as well. Silence. No dream. No mirth. A sense of dread dawned on us and like every human that ever existed, we fooled ourselves into sweeping the issue under the carpet with a “we will have our dream life after retirement”!

First of all, why “we”? Do we have no dream for ourselves?

Sorry dear readers, to inform you that I was so stuck that I took a break and I am back here after quite a while, nearly a month! So much has happened since, except for the dream life picture.  

However, I know the why of it. Spirituality. I am so steeped in it that I realise that not having a picture is the best way to be. That way, you can allow the Universe to surprise you limitlessly. The Universe must have already caught on to the fact that there are severe limitations to my imagination so they took away the ability for me to dream of a life, knowing that it would probably be rather boring and believable.

So, whether it is me or we, in India or elsewhere, adrenalin rush or calm meditative life, let the Universe bring it on and I will consciously be open to receive.

Yes. I am aware I just bailed on you dear reader; evasive as hell; not taking responsibility after leading you on; but you know what, even that is a part of the plan- yours and mine! So, either let your imagination run wild or leave it to the Universe, trust and go with the flow!

This really sounds thick skinned, but I would love to hear of your dream life, if you’d like to share it with me in the comments. Either way, I hope you get the world you conjure up, in the best possible way!


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