The Four Letter "F" Word!

Fear! That’s the word I meant! Whoever found a word to describe this terrible feeling knowing that it was a universal trait in all living creatures with a brain! A feeling so limiting and stressful and yet, what is fear but your imagination running wild in most cases!! For Harry Potter fans out there, it can be best explained by the “Boggart”!

Fear stems up from perceived peril. So, ideally fear is that morbid feeling in the face of imminent danger where, in that split second you have to decide what next and go for it, in order to survive. This is natural and it works in our favour. It is a result of chemical changes in our bodies in the form of hormone release. This fear is real.


Yet, the fear that plagues us for the greater part of our lives isn’t real fear; it is imaginary. It is the mind working overtime! We conjure up emergency situations and allow fear to take enormous proportions. “What if” situations are aplenty and this very concoction in our heads which has no basis, produces all those chemical reactions, stressing us out completely, when the danger situation is nowhere around and is just a figment of our imagination. This is fear/anxiety/worry/panic/distress/terror/horror that is limiting and it serves no purpose. In fact, it does more harm than good.

The mind, as I mentioned before, is the little devil behind it all. We have a memory and that stores both pleasant and unpleasant episodes. Traumas of different kinds are suppressed but are lurking there in our subconscious. After a while we forget the trauma but they turn into phobias deep rooted within us which seem to have no reason at all.

Did you know that there are only two broad emotions and everything else stems up from these two? Well, they are Love and Fear! All those positive emotions that fill our heart, body and soul stem out from love while every single negative emotion stems up from fear. And guess what, knowing this truth, we still choose fear! Now, isn’t that insane?

We cover up this insanity with intelligent logic to fool ourselves. “Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst” has been drilled into us for years. For those in uniform, serving the Nation, plan B is second nature. It is a matter of survival. The same fundamental applied to daily life is madness. It is a way of restricting our very own freedom and the no error syndrome or the tail clear syndrome, all come out from here. Getting killed is real danger and fight or flight is mandatory for survival. Fear is natural and even beneficial in such dire circumstances but fear of failure in our routine life is self-limiting and absolutely unfounded!

Is there a solution? YES! The ideal one is to be in the HERE and NOW. I know you want to roll your eyes and go ‘Oh No! Not again!” I am also aware that this solution doesn’t seem doable, but it is and I practice it. I used to be the hyper anxious variety and overthinking was and still is my forte! There was a time when my husband was away and my son had to be initiated into cycling in heavy and merciless Indian traffic by night for his coaching classes and my heart was in my mouth as to how he would hack it, given his absent minded nature, seen up until then. Yet, he had to learn and I had to be strong. I also couldn’t keep embarrassing him by calling up the Institute to find out whether he had reached safe and sound!  That is when I started practicing being in the moment. Whenever anxiety would start filling my head following negative thoughts, I’d bring my mind to the now and tell myself that I had no control over even the next second leave alone later and so I’d consciously live from second to second till the terror dissipated! The result was great. Nothing went wrong with my son except that he became a pro at negotiating and dodging crazy traffic. I still have a tendency, like all of us do, to either live in the past or in the future but I manage to get myself back faster now and it really helps. Believe me, my dear readers, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!

The second solution is as important as the first and that is to trust the Universe and give up control of outcomes. All this sounds like a “cliché”, I am sure, and that is because it is time tested. Isn’t that what truism is all about?! To quote my ever so favourite song by Doris Day, “Que sera sera, whatever will be will be…”

Embrace love, live at your highest frequency of positivity and do away with fear once and for all. It will not happen overnight. Then again, is there anything good that comes to us without effort? Yet, this little conscious practice will help you live a full life and explore your potential taking you to the greatest unfathomable heights!





  1. Another motivational Blog from you and I have learnt a thing or two from it. Keep inspiring dear .

    1. Thank you so much Anvita...the inspiring is mutual!

  2. Many valid thoughts for a better mental health ! True, unnecessary fear only causes us agony and grief. Time to revisit the 'Geeta saar'...

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  4. Such a straight piece sans any drama! Loved reading it.. For me personally, I know one thing for sure.. Once you face the biggest fear you have in life.. nothing can hold you back! More than anything else..I think the biggest fear one needs to overcome is the fear of acceptance... Once you break free of that.. it's unbelievable what can be achieved!!!

    1. You said it Toxicheaven! One of the greatest fears is fear of acceptance because we are so stuck with the need of external validation among other things. I came across a quote this morning "The sky isn't the limit, your belief system is" and fear is a big part of it! Thank you for egging me on as always!


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