Tears of Blood

Rape! I wonder how people react to this word. Do they even react to it anymore? Is the reaction because they feel anything or because they are expected to feel something? It is with deep anguish that I write this. Episodes of rape are so many and so regular that I believe people have become or are becoming desensitized to the act. So, mere molestation is just accepted as the norm. #MeToo was an eye opener for men, I hear. They did not know it happened to “decent” women as well-except as a rare coincidence. This was an eye opener for me!

Credits: facebook.com

In India, we have too many people. News of a few deaths, natural or otherwise, to a few rapes within the marriage or outside of it- adult or minor, is not enough to ruffle routine life. “Few” did I say? In the last month there have been so many bus accidents with them falling over bridges, and many deaths reported. It seldom catches our eye and if it does, we quickly brush it off. What’s such a big deal! It didn’t happen to us so we can stoically say, “these things happen” and get on with our day. Rapes and as barbaric as they come, are reaching the same fate.

Credits: facebook.com

Rapes reported are on the rise causing a furore on the internet depending on the victim and the level of brutality meted out. A few candle light marches and a lot of loud babbling on news channels and media more interested as to which celebrity commented and who didn’t, follows. It becomes a communal issue at times, political issue at others. Everyone has an agenda and they seek to fulfill it. The average man/woman unleashes his anger on facebook or twitter. The law remains silent. 

We are intolerant towards the meat eating/non meat eating community; we are intolerant towards a single statement someone issues which more often than not is a joke that misfires; we are intolerant of movies that are based on folklore and even with romantic sequences that involve winking!! However, most importantly, among myriad of other issues we are intolerant towards a woman who is free. The idea of a liberated woman is alright to speak about in a public arena (one would be seen in good light) but in reality a liberated woman ought to be an oxymoron, at best.

Credits: twitter.com

However, we are very tolerant towards our rapists. She was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She wasn’t clad enough. She was too clad. She was loud. She wanted it. She was out late, she was the type. He was angry. He was drunk. She enticed him. He was mentally disturbed. Her clothes were a signal. You cannot rape a married woman and definitely not a mother- it is always consensual. His religious sentiments were hurt. His political sentiments were hurt. STOP! Listen to your own ghastly voices; to your own insensitive words not to mention illogical ones! When will we ever rise above double standards? It is not just the rapist- it is the mindset of the majority!

I have been depressed since the Kathua and Unnao cases have been discussed- somewhere in all the ranting and raving, the victims just become a “topic for discussion”. It is not a new feeling, it has happened many times before. Even as I share my thoughts I feel I am doing the same- for sitting in the comfort of my home, typing away I feel impotent because my writing is not about to change anything but if it can change even a single narrow mindset, I would feel it was worth the effort.

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I get petrified at the thought that my daughter will one day have to go out into this world, alone. I keep wondering how much advice I should give to teach her caution without letting fear seep in. Every time something of this nature crops up I sit my teenage son down and tell him how important it is to respect girls and women, in fact, any living being.  “You may find some obnoxious girl or woman you have to deal with but never in your wildest of moods should you ever think of violating a woman by either laying a finger on her or by stripping her off dignity by using harsh or foul language. Ignore her and if you must, report her but never turn into a savage.” My son and daughter tell me to keep away from the news and social media for they have heard this over and over again for rape is so frequent. Statistics on the net have shown steady rise of rape over the years. So, is law even acting as a deterrent? 

Credits: slideshare.net

Credits: pinterest.com

 

In sheer desperation I went on to seek information of why men rape and why they get so violent. What I found on Wikipedia made me dizzy. First of all, there are types of rape! Can you believe that? Acquaintance rape, Date rape, Gray rape, Marital rape, Statutory rape, Prison rape, Gang rape, Serial rape, Campus rape, Corrective rape, Genocidal rape, Unacknowledged rape and Rape by deception! Baskin Robbins flavours?

The causes include military conquests, socio economic reasons, anger, power, sadism, sexual pleasure etc. Broadly, prevalent rapes carried out fall into anger, sadism, need to assert power and gang rape categories.

Credits: quora.com

An anger rape is one in which the predator’s aim is to humiliate and debase the victim using physical violence and mouthing profanities before the actual act. The underlying motive is anger.

The power assertion rape is carried out by a predator, who has strong feelings of inadequacy; dominating and intimidating the woman makes him feel strong and everything that he is not. His fantasy takes over and he believes the victim enjoys it- that he satisfies her. Since fantasies are short lived, he does not feel the grandeur after the act and convinces himself that the next time will be better. These rapists are repetitive and compulsive and usually carry out a lot many rapes in a short period of time.

The sadistic rape is the worst for the rapist enjoys hurting the victim and actually draws erotic pleasure from the agony he causes. Most victims do not survive the attack.

The gang rape is collective display of manhood and assertion- the more aggressive the better. It was shocking to read that in certain parts of the world, the elders actually encourage a group of men to publicly gang rape women who they believe do not follow the moral code.

In other words Man has become a self appointed God and he decides whom to punish! What is wrong with this world? Is this education that we receive worth nothing?  We don’t even need a formal education to be human, do we?

Child pornography is banned worldwide. Sadism should be banned too. Even as I write this I know, banning something by making it illegal and actual putting an end to the whole thing are two different things. The countries where pornography is illegal are the countries where they are watched the most, India included.

Credits: change.org

I cannot imagine how any human being looks at an infant/child of its own kind and see it in any other light but fondness for its pure innocence. Rape is inhuman no matter who the victim is but rape of a child is brutality to another level. The punishment for rape must be death and death alone for nothing short of that is going to stop those statistics from sky rocketing.

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You and I can vent our frustration by writing and voicing our thoughts but the parents of the girls that have gone through this hell, whether living or dead and the survivors, who ought to be celebrated, relive their pain instead and cry tears of blood, looking for a place to hide.

 

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