All by Myself...Finally!
As
I stood waving at my daughter and parents at the airport, I felt this unexplainable
thrill. Was it because I was about to meet my husband after a while? Perhaps, I
told myself and wheeled the trolley around to make it into the foyer of
methodical madness.
Credits: airclaim.com |
As
I found my way to the Indigo Check In counter (Yes! I did stick to Indigo
despite the Airlines being in the news for all the wrong reasons and I am glad
I did), I see the long queue and smirk, for I was in well before time! Just
before I could push the trolley behind the last person in the line, a member of
the ground staff asked me courteously to show him my boarding pass. I thought
he was wonky and having a bad day- why else would he ask me for a boarding pass
before I checked in?! I smiled a kind smile (all those face book free advice at work) and said, “I will show it to you once I get it” and I indicated to the
queue. He smiled a benign smile back at me (he was on face book too,
undoubtedly), “Ma’am, It is self check in”, he said. I had no idea what that
meant and being a person who is incapable of hiding my thoughts from appearing
on my face, I guess it was visible to him too! His turn to point out at half a
dozen “baby ATM machines”!! He read my thoughts again and said, “Ma’am you will
be guided if you have a problem” urging me politely to get out of the way. I
did.
I
stared at the machine. It stared right back. I smiled a bit nervously. It
continued staring impassively. Like all good wives I made a mental note of
getting back at my husband for not briefing me about this development. I looked
around feeling dumb and then I spotted a pretty painted face in the Indigo
uniform. I feel bad for all the men out there who cannot stare without being
labeled cheap- she was beautiful and I stared in awe till she asked me if she
could help. Thanks to my father I have never felt hesitant to say that I don’t
know something. I told her I had no clue about this whole procedure. “Type in
your PNR number and follow the instructions. Let me know if you get stuck.” And
with that she disappeared. I typed in the number once, then twice, then thrice
and then stopped myself from kicking the machine in irritation. All at once, none
of those painted faces were anywhere in sight. There were a lot many clueless
faces doing what I was doing though!! Some consolation! As I turned to the
screen for one last attempt, a man squeezed himself from in between the
machines. He asked me what the matter was and I showed him the screen after I
punched in the number. He looked at it for a moment and then asked me by what
flight I was going and when. I told him and he grinned but without further
comment he pulled out a slip that said “sorry the boarding pass could not be
issued…” and told me to get into the line for a regular check in. I nodded and
wondered why he grinned. Then it dawned on me. No one turned up this early for
a domestic flight!
I
waited patiently in the queue which moved at admirable speed and soon enough I
was at the counter, proud of myself for travelling so light (unlike me) and
then I see that the friendly man had given me a window seat. I had paid two
hundred bucks for an aisle, so I pointed that out. He readily gave me what I
wanted saying that he had given me a window seat because most passengers
preferred that. I grinned too. I do remember the times I have fought for the
window seat be it any vehicle. Anyway, I moved in for the security check which
again took minimal time and there I was, all formalities done and two whole
hours to go before boarding!
And
then it hit me! I realized why I felt the thrill! Not to say I wasn’t ecstatic
about the fact that I was going to meet my husband and drive back home with
him- and over a thousand kilometers at that, but this feeling had been
something else! It was sixteen years and two months or a wee bit more since I
had travelled alone. So many years ago, I had made my first trip with my son
who was barely two months of age. I remember waving goodbyes to my parents as I
cautiously made my way with my ever so precious infant. It had been so
emotional. I had just learnt how to give him a bath. My mother used to do it
till then. I was so scared that he’d slip out of my fingers! His first smile of
recognition came then- on the plane. It is so well etched in my memory! Well,
since then I had never travelled alone. The kids and I were an inseparable
team.
Four
years ago, my dear friend and I decided to travel and visit all the
Jyotirlingas (12 temples dedicated to Lord Shiva scattered across the country)
and we do so sans family but then it is the two of us. This was just me! And
suddenly, it felt odd. I did not know what to do. So, I walked into a book
store and bought myself a book, Amish’s latest nonfiction. I stopped for a
coffee. At the counter I missed my children. They get so excited over blueberry
muffins and chocolate brownies respectively. In all their excitement I usually
end up with just a coffee. So, this time I ordered a muffin along with a large
cappuccino. I walked to an isolated twin seater and plonked. The coffee was
strong and I loved it. I made a call to my mother and told her that all was
well and spoke to my daughter telling her that I missed her especially while
buying the muffin. She groaned. As luck would have it, I realized that it had
egg in it and was I not on a forty one day fast? I got the muffin packed and
decided to gift it to my husband. God did want me to go easy on my diet, I
could see. I leisurely drank coffee and read a few pages of the book which
happens to be a collection of his speeches on topics which every Indian
mythology enthusiast would love to read.
Credits: asklaila.com |
Having
had the delightful brew, I walked past a few shops and I wished I were more of
a woman than I was. I dislike shopping. Worse, I super dislike window shopping.
And here was the ultimate feast for shopaholics. My mother would feel blessed
to be in my shoes; loads of shops around and no one to make a face!! I was
sticking out like a sore thumb- completely out of place.
I
stood there pretending to look interested and finally walked into a bright and
colourful shop of artifacts. The men in the shop were extra nice which made me
uncomfortable for I knew I wasn’t parting with a dime. I hurried my
disinterested survey and exited after giving a half smile. I walked past all
other shops, seeing them only in my peripheral vision. I reached the gate from
which I had to board and was shocked to see all seats occupied! I loitered
about a bit and then walked into a cosmetic shop.
Credits: facebook.com |
I was enamoured by all that I saw. I usually
go to a shop with my agenda in mind and walk straight to where I get what I
want, buy it and get back. It is only when I am with my mother that I look
about at different things- which are usually clothes, bags and shoes, of which
only clothes take a bit more time than the rest. Cosmetics I hardly indulge in
except Kohl and nail paint. Lipsticks last forever so I seldom shop for those.
This time however, I had loads of time to kill and no place to sit so I walked
slowly looking at all the shelves, my eyes widening at the prices till I saw
two pairs of eyes on me. The two men in the shop were waiting to start
promoting any product that I dared touch. And then on impulse I decided to
check out a few perfumes and so, one blood hound almost immediately started
rattling out how good it was by spraying a few drops on my wrist and
threatening to follow it with many more. Thankfully, I liked the first one and
bought it along with a moisturizer and I was done in less than ten minutes till
I reached the counter. The pleasant faced, bearded man at the counter spoke
very well with an American accent and liked to hear his own voice.
Unfortunately for me, the only other customer had left and so he was in no mood
to let me go. Right from the brand to its magnanimous offers to its social
consciousness, he waxed eloquent and I was struggling to keep my mind from
drifting but it did and when I got it back he was saying something about
dinosaurs being extinct and as I nodded he smiled and added, “we wouldn’t want
that to happen to our elephants and tigers”. “Absolutely! Absolutely!” I said
emphatically, vehemently nodding my head while the rest of my body was forcing
me out and he knew his time was up.
I
took a deep breath once outside that stuffy shop- I had actually managed to
while away lots of time. I went back to try my luck with the seats. I saw a
seat vacant next to two old Sardarni ladies. I smiled a bright smile at them
and the older one hurriedly put her bag on the chair. I stifled laughter.
Natural instincts are hard to beat. The younger lady motioned to another vacant
seat across and I thanked her gratefully and quickly sat down. Well, shortly
after, the boarding gates were open and two and a half hours later I was in New
Delhi! Here again, let me promote Indigo. I had the smoothest ride, lovely,
smiling, involved air hostesses and minimum delays!
Credits: in.pinterest.com |
I
cannot begin to tell you how liberated I felt with this small step of
travelling alone after donkeys years. To most of you reading this, it might
seem like an article that should’ve probably been written by a person of the
previous generation and not by someone in their early forties! I have served as
an officer in the IAF too and this article is probably like an anticlimax. And
yet, this is how it has been. Not that I regret my journeys with my family or
just the kids- it has been unlimited fun but the fact that in so many years I
had quietly clipped my own wings was a revelation.
Credits; pinterest.com |
Both
men and women forget their own individual selves when they get married and
begin a family and that is how it should be for a family to grow close and bond
deeply but as the years go by, the needs of each member changes. No team can
progress if one member gets left behind. More often than not, that member is
the at-home parent or the parent with the lesser income- for obvious reasons
too. Giving priority to every other member in the family and leaving oneself
out completely isn’t a good idea. One’s own frustration comes out in different
ways that is a hindrance to the team, which in this case is the family. Being
stagnant is poisonous if I may say so. Large strides are not required just
small never ending baby steps- forward- with the team!!
Credits: pinterest.com |
With every post I say that this is your best yet..bur this one is so beautifully written and so relatable. Being stagnant is poisonous - so well put.
ReplyDeleteIt’s funny how all our memories become connected to moments from our children’s lives and how we miss them even when we enjoy the feeling of being alone. You bring out the essence of true liberation - being one with the family and yet never forgetting to spread your wings and fly. Love love love it. Beautiful post. 💕
Thank you Devyani...you are too kind :)
DeleteIf ever I travel alone, I would feel exactly the same that you narrated. Your blogs are so relatable Anu. That is why I love reading them
ReplyDeleteThank you so much :) I am sure you would my dreamer...
DeleteIt was a delight to read your blog... I had a smile throughout... love your style of writing darling... waiting for the next :)
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton Sree :*
DeleteWow....your post reminded me the time years back when I was travelling with my son all alone when he was just two months old....n it's been ages that I have travelled alone... if I ever m sure will feel exactly the same....
ReplyDeleteWe are all in the same boat, I guess :)
DeleteHappy lively bloggy 2018 goodwishes.
ReplyDeleteKeep the flow!!!
Thank you...I need it :)
DeleteCan relate very well to the joys of travelling alone...
ReplyDelete😊
:) :)
DeleteThe final sumup is icing on cake nicely written
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Shyam :)
Delete